Chapter 13 : interpersonal, group and workplace conflict

What is the meaning of interpersonal conflict?
It is when people are :

1. interdependent
2. mutually aware that their goals are incompatible 
3. perceive each other as interference in their goals

Online conflict 

1. spamming
2. flaming
3. junk mail 

Workplace conflict

1. procedure conflicts - disagreement on who is in charge 
2. people conflicts - battle for control or people who are not willing to participate

4 principles related to workplace conflicts : 

1. preserve dignity and respect of all members
2. listen emphatically
3. seek out and emphasize common ground 
4. value diversity and differences 

4 Principles of conflict : 

1. conflict can center on content and relationship issues

• content conflict : centers on objects, events and persons 
• relationship conflict : centers on relationship only; example, siblings, parents and children 

2. conflict can be negative or positive 

• negative aspects : increases negative regard of opponent
• positive aspect : forces you to examine a problem and work towards a solution 

3. conflict takes place in a context 

• physical context : privately or publicly 
• sociopsychological context : friendly or hostile 
• temporal context : timing 
• cultural context : collectivist culture or individualist culture 

4. conflict styles have consequences

• competing 
• avoiding 
• accommodating
• collaborating 
• comprising 

 Preliminaries to conflict management 

1. before the conflict 

• fight in private 
• be sure everyone is ready to fight 
• know what you're fighting about 
• fight about problems that can be solved
• consider the beliefs that you hold that may need reexamination 

2. after the conflict 

• learn from the conflict 
• increase exchange of rewards 

3. influences on your choice of conflict strategies 

• goals
• emotional state
• cognitive assessment 
• personality and communication competence 
• family history 

4. stages of conflict management 

• define and analyze the problem 
• establish criteria for evaluating solutions 
• identify productive solutions 
• evaluate solutions 
• select the best solution 
• test the selected solution 

Conflict management strategies 

1. Win-Lose and Win-Win strategies 

2. Avoidance and active fighting 

• non-negotiation 

3. Force and talk 

4. Blame and empathy 

5. Gunny-sacking and present focus 

6. Manipulation and spontaneity 

7. Personal rejection and acceptance 

8. Fighting below and above the belt 

• belt-lining 

9. Face-detracting and face enhancing strategies 

10. Aggressiveness and argumentativeness

• verbally 

Chapter 12 : Organizational Communication

1. Organizations defined as an organized, group of people, who work together to achieve compatible goals.
2. Organizational Messages

• Process of sending a non-verbal and verbal messages that convey meaning. 
• Formal communication : Upward, Downward & Lateral communications
• Informal communication : The Grapevine
• Organizational networks : Circle, Wheel, Y, Chain & All-channel. 

     3. Organizational Relationships

• Sexual Harassment
• Bullying 
• Mentoring
• Networking

Chapter 11 : Members & Leaders

Members in Small Group Communication 

1. A popular classification of small group member roles divides them into group task roles, group building and maintenance roles and individual roles.
2. There are 12 group task roles : 

• Initiator-contributor
• Information seeker
• Opinion seeker
• Information giver
• Opinion giver
• Elaborator 
• Coordinator
• Orienter
• Evaluator-critic
• Energizer
• Procedural technician 
• Recorder

   3. There are 7 group building & maintenance roles :

• Encourager
• Harmonizer
• Compromiser
• Gatekeeper-expediter
• Standard setter
• Group observer & Commentator
• Follower

  4. There are 8 individual roles :

• Aggressor
• Blocker
• Recognition seeker
• Self-confessor
• Playboy/playgirl
• Dominator
• Help seeker
• Special interest pleader

Leaders in Small Group Communication

1. Approaches to Leadership

• Functional Approach
• Transformational Approach 
• Situational Approach

    2. Functions and Skills of Leadership 

• Be ready
• Activate group agenda (keep tasks on track)
• Promote group interaction (communication among the members)
• Maintain effective interaction
• Empower group members
• Keep members on track (having discussions & informing members every details) 
• Ensure member satisfaction (ask opinion from everyone)
• Encourage ongoing evaluation
• Manage conflict
• Follow Up

Membership, Leadership & Culture

1. Individualism & Collectivism 
2. Member Roles
3. Belief Systems
4. Leadership Style 

Chapter 10 : Small Group Communication

Chapter 10 : Small Group Communication 

In the chapter we will explore these major topics:

1. Small groups and Teams

- The Small Group

•    A small group is collection of individuals who are connected to one another by some common purpose, are interdependent, have some degree of organization among them, and see themselves as a group. The small group stage are five : opening, feedforward, business, feedback, and closing. Beside  that, Small group also have some formats such as: round table, panel, symposium, and symposium-forum.

- The Team

• A team is a particular kind of small group. As such it possesses all of the characteristics of the small group, as well as some additional qualities. Drawing on a number of small group researchers in communication and organizational theory, we can define the team as a small group constructed for a specific task, whose members have clearly defined roles, whose members are committed to achieving the same goal, and that is content focused.

- Virtual Groups and Teams

• Virtual groups and teams can define as small group and team interaction also takes place online, among geographically separated members who communicate as a group via computer or phone connections.

- Power in the Small group

• The six types of power covered in the self-test are legitimate, referent, reward, coercive, expert, and information or persuasion power.

    2.  Idea-Generation Groups

• The idea-generation groups are small groups that exist solely to generate ideas and often follow a pattern called brainstorming. Brainstorming is a teachnique for bombarding a problem and generating as many ideas as possible. 

         - Brainstorm Rule 1 : Don't Criticize

         - Brainstorm Rule 2 : Strive for Quantity

         - Brainstorm Rule 3 : Combine and Extend Ideas

         - Brainstorm Rule 4 : Develop the Wildest Ideas Possible

    3. Personal Growth Groups

• The Encounter Group 

         - Encounter groups, also known as "sensitivity groups" or "T[Training]-groups," for example, constitute a form of  psychotherapy; these groups try to facilitate members' personal growth and foster their ability to deal effectively with other people.

• The Assertiveness Training Group

         - The assertiveness training group aims to increase the willingness of its members to stand up for their rights and to act more assertively in a wide variety of situations.

• The Consciousness-Raising Group

         - The consciousness-raising group aims to help people cope with the problems society confronts them with the members of a consciousness-raising group all have one characteristic in common ( for example, they may all be women, unwed mothers, gay fathers, or recently unemployed executives ).

     4. Information sharing groups

• Educational or Learning Groups

        - the members pool their knowledge to the benefit of all, as in the popular their knowledge to the benefit of all, as in the popular law and medical student learning groups.

• Focus Groups

        - A different type of learning group is the focus group, a small group assembled for a kind of in-depth interview.

     5. Problem-Solving Groups

• Step 1 : Define and Analyze the Problem

        - Duration, Causes, and Effects

• Step 2 : Establish Criteria for Evaluating Solutions

        - Practical criteria and value criteria

• Step 3 : Identify possible Solution
• Step 4 : Evaluate Solutions
• Step 5 : Select the Best Solution          

Chapter 9: Friends, Lovers & Famiies

Chapter 9: Friends, Lovers & Families

Friendship

Friendship

v  Is an interpersonal relationship

v  Must be mutually productive

v  Charactaracterized by mutual positive regard (you like me, I like you)

·         Trust

·         Emotional support

·         Sharing interest

Friendship types

The friendship of reciprocity

•   Loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, generosity.
• Share equally in giving receiving the benefits and rewards of the relationship.

The friendship of receptivity

• One person is the primary giver, and one the primary receiver.
•   Ex : teacher & students, doctor & patient

The friendship of association

•  friendly relationship
• There is no great loyalty, no great trust, no great giving & receiving.
•  Ex : classmates, neighbours, co-workers

Why do we seek out friendship and close relationships?

Utility purposes

• Help you to achieve your specific goals and need.
• Ex: those who good in Math may teach you that subject.

Affirmation

•   help you to recognize your attributes
•  Ex: those who would help you see more clearly your leadership abilities.

Ego support

•  Someone who behave in supportive and encouraging.
•   Ex: those who would help you view yourself as worthy.

Stimulation:

•  Introduces you to new ideas, help you to expand your worldview

Security

•   Someone who does nothing to hurt you

Development stages of friendship

Initial contact & acquaintanceship

• The first stage of friendship
• Impressions are formed.
• Important to stay open and welcoming of the presence of your new acquaintance.

Casual friendship

• The second stage of friendship.
• Dyadic (of a relation) consciousness takes place
• Doing things together

Close and intimate friendship

• The third stage of friendship
•  Most intimate forms of togetherness.

The value of friendship would also be affected by:

•  Culture
• Gender differences
•  technology

Friendship and culture

v  Different cultures would bring about a different meaning to friendships and relationships.

v  Collective society : the more friends, the better

v  Individualist society: the more friends I have the lesser chance of getting a promotion in workplace.

v  High ambiguity :

• Presence of friends – is expected & welcomed.

v  Low ambiguity :

• Why should I hang out with people that I don’t know?

Friendship and gender

v  Male and female kin view friendships and relationships differently

v  Men  are more keen to develop more acquaintances, but not true friends

v  Women are more able to keep and maintain close friends around them. But tends to get jealous more.

v  Self-disclosure :

•  Men would also self-disclose their secrets lesser than a women. à because of ego

Friendship and technology

• The meaning of friendship has been diluted by the improvement and usage of technology in our lives.
•  In the past, it used to be meaningful to have 10 friends which you keep in touch with, but these days you can have 5000 friends in facebook and you don’t even keep in contact with 5 of them on a regular basis.

Romantic relationship

Types of love
  Eros :

•   erotic, sensual, desire, lust

  Ludus :

• excitement, fun, entertainment

Storge 

•    peaceful and slow.

Pragma :

•   practical and traditional

Mania :

•   extremist of opposites

Agape

•   : unconditional love

Eros  

• Basically this category represents love that comes out physical attraction, beauty and appearance. Often sex and lust becomes the result of this category

Ludus

•  This form of love represents the thrill of excitement and pleasure seeking, often only seeking temporary measures and ways to fulfill their need to have fun.
• Usually ludic lovers are those who are individualists or self-centered and would only maintain the relationship with their partner until they become bored,

Storge

• This form of love represents the act of seeking for love but with the absence of passion and emotion in the process.
•     Sarah, who is 23, in her culture she needs to get married already, but because she has no time for love, her parents arranged her to be married with another man. Both individual feel no love and passion for one another, but only viewing each other as a companion to please their parents and their culture.
• Pragma

• Lover this category are more concerned of the ability of the other partner and the benefits that they could gain from the relationship.
• Asian parents – often questioning the male kin on whether they have enough money to support the family

Mania

v  Lover in this category is a bit of a psycho- they love the thrill of having love and at the same is depressed or worried of having love.

v  Many individuals in an individualists and low ambiguity society tend to fall into this category. They often think:  

•   “I am very lonely….. I need a man/women in my live”

But when they have man or women in their live-

•   “she love me for money, not for me”
•     “Will he leave me for another prettier and more successful girl?”

Agape:

v  unconditional love

v  This love is truly unconditional love – loving another with no favor expected in return.

v  Can be considered as the highest and most selfless form of love.

•      Love of a parent to their child

Love and communication

•  Love enhances all forms of verbal and non-verbal communications and encourages a deeper level of conversation.

Love and culture

• Love is interpreted and practiced differently from various cultures around the globe.
•  For instance, in America, lovers are more intimate and more active in showing their love(buying flowers etc) whereas in Asian countries, love is considered a taboo topic until the individuals have reached a certain age and overall, love take a more passive position in Asian countries.

Love and gender

• Who is the better lover? Men or women? The jury is out for neither – both men and women love differently.
•  Men for example, is more and eros and ludic lover, whereas women are more of the pragma lover.

Love and technology

• Likewise with friendships, the meaning of love is also diluted by the growth of technology.
•  Non verbal cues and verbal cues for instance, becomes more diluted by the cold and digital texts and messages done through emails, text messages, whatsapp, facebook, twitter etc.

Families

v  Each family has their own uniqueness and characteristics, but they do normally follow a certain set of rules and criteria, such as :

·         Defined roles

·         Recognition of responsibilities

·         Shared history & future

·         Shared living space

Types of family:

Traditional couples

•  The conventional form of a family – shared values, beliefs, tolerance for one another.

Independent couples

• Individuals in this family setting stress individuality as the main theme in the family – unfortunately this is how the modern family is today.

Separate couples

•  This family setting is not really a family but individuals in this family stay together for a common benefit (paying the rent, sharing living space, etc)

Family and communication
 Each family communicates with one another differently, but would also adhere to the same principles of communication :

Equality :

•  Individual in families would often seek an equal terms of respect, love and understanding with one another

Balanced split:

•  families with a balanced split have a balanced amount of  responsibilities

o   Ex; fathers would get money from work; mother would prepare and take care of the family and house as in return (balanced).

Unbalanced split:

•  A mother having to work for money and taking care of the home but the father just stay at home unemployed and not even doing the housework.

Monopoly

• one person is the authority
•   a very traditional and conventional family setting

Family and culture

• Highly individualist cultures would not have a conductive setting for a healthy family. But would often be prepared to accept changes and self-disclosure

Family and technology

•  Research showed that while the participants in the family are more active in conversation, with one another(via text message, email, facebook, etc) the quality and value of those conversations are diluted and almost meaningless and lack sincerity 

Chapter 7 & 8 INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

CHAPTER 7

INTRODUCTION:
-Communication between sender and receiver; one to another; more than 1 person involved.
-The essence of interpersonal communication is through conversations and dialogues.

*The conversation process:
1. Opening
2. Feed-forward
3. Business
4. Feedback
5. Closing

PRINCIPLES OF CONVERSATION:

1. Principle of Turn-Taking:
-An active exchange of roles between speakers and listeners, the exchanges of cues called conversational turns.
-Both speakers and listeners will perform and indicate different and various cues during a conversation process.

• Turn-Maintaining: Speaker to speak; his/her role to maintain conversational cues.
• Examples: Para-language, eye contact
• Turn-Yielding: Speaker to listen; Indicates they are done talking and wishes to listen.
• Examples: Hand gestures
• Turn-Requesting: Listener to speaker; Indicates he/she is ready to speak.
• Examples: Butting in conversation, para-language
• Turn-Denying: Listener to listen; Indicates that he/she is not responsive.
• Examples: Shaking head, looking away

2. Principle of Dialogue:

-A context where two person share messages to one another.

-Indicates an interaction rather than just a conversation (the sender and receiver both actively seek to pursue a healthy and meaningful conversation).

-Examples: Two friends are talking about a common interest.

3. Principle of Immediacy and Flexibility:

-Effective communication and conversation requires both parties to take into consideration the relationship and intimacy of one another, as well as adjusting to the environment and the context.

• Immediacy: the creation of closeness, a sense of togetherness, of oneness between speakers and listeners. - you convey a sense of interest and attention.
• Flexibility: 
• Imagine that you are in specific situation
• To consider the course of action identified
• To estimate how much this choice would be similar to the choice you will make in the same situation.

EVERYDAY CONVERSATIONS:

1. Small Talk

-Method in which we slowly introduce ourselves into a bigger issue or message.

-A bridge to the conversation: Compliments, talk about weather, food, etc.

-Very culturally based.

2. Excuses and Apologizes

-We always excuse ourselves and apologize in our everyday conversations for the fault that we do.

-The etiquette to maintain for excuses: Maintain a fair stand on your excuses, do not lie and do not be too extreme.

-Types of excuses:

• I didn't do it
• It wasn't so bad
• Yes, but......

-The etiquette for apologies: maintain an open position and apologize if you are at fault - say it like you mean it.

3. Complimenting and Advice:

-We compliment each other on things or likings that appeal to us.

-Compliment is a "message of praise" which is the interpersonal glue.

-Etiquette of Compliments:

• Qualified Compliment- Praises that really justifies the words.
• Unqualified Compliment- Praises that is used to just pass on the impression or to mask certain behaviors and intentions. (Things you don't mean to say but said it to get favor or get out from trouble)

-Receiving compliments is a big etiquette: Do not expect favor when you do good.

-2 options when receiving compliments:

1. Denial
2. Acceptance

-Types of advises:

1. Explore options: Advising others to seek out alternatives
2. Expert advice/second opinion: Advising others to emphasize or de-emphasize their beliefs and inclinations.
3. Delay decision: To delay their decision.

CHAPTER 8

RELATIONSHIP STAGES & THEORIES

RELATIONSHIP STAGES:

1. Contact:

-The first stage of relationship.

-People become aware of one another's existence (Impersonal and almost ritualized).

-Perceptual and Interactional contact take place.

• Perceptual: Human senses (sight, smell, taste, hear, touch)
• Interactional: First point of contact.

2. Involvement:

-Second stage of relationship.

-People have tighter bonds and engagements with one another- expect light bonds of friendship and being added into the social circle.

-Testing and intensifying stages take place:

• Testing: try to date him or her.
• Intensifying: Amount of times or commitments you committed to one another.

3. Intimacy:

-Third stage of relationship.

-People have a deep and committed relationship with one another. (Relationship grow stronger, explicit display of affection, communication and bond with one another.

-Become familiar and comfortable with each other.

4. Deterioration:

-Fourth stage of the relationship.

-Other communication factors such as temporal, cultural, or societal contexts weakens the bond with one another.

-Intrapersonal and interpersonal dissatisfaction become apparent.

-Reality hurts

5. Repair:

Fifth stage of relationship.

-Those affected in the deterioration stage try to work things out with one another.

-Interpersonal (changing behavior) and intrapersonal (talk and discuss about the problem) repair takes place. 

6.Dissolution

-Last stage of the relationship.

-Bonds are broken or returned back to platonic.

-Interpersonal (may not see each other anymore) and social separation (avoidance of each other and a return to being "single") takes place.

RELATIONSHIP THEORIES:

1. Attraction Theory

a) Similarity: Attraction to individuals with similar taste, beliefs, ideas with you.

b) Proximity: Attraction to individuals who are close to you in terms of range and locations.

c) Reinforcement: Attraction to individuals who reinforces your personality and lifestyle.

d) Physical and Attractiveness and Personality: Attraction to physical and mental attributes; Inner and outer beauty.

2. Relationship Rules Theory

-Different relationships have different relationship levels and attributes.

a) Friendship Rules: Acquaintances, normal friends, best friends

b) Romantic Rules: Similar to friendship rules but more towards lovers and couples.

c) Family Rules: Different roles in the family setting would impact relationships within and outside of the family.

d) Workplace rules: Different roles in the workplace would also impact relationship forming and interpersonal communication.

3. Relationship Dialectics Theory

-People in relationships often want to explore the extremes of opposite qualities.

a) Closeness and openness

-Individuals like the exclusive attention of one another yet at the same time they like to be involved in a society or group.

b) Autonomy and Connection

-Individuals like to have both in-dependency and dependency on one another.

c) Novelty and Predictability

-Individuals like surprise or uniqueness as well as sustainable and predictable things or routines and schedules.

4. Social Penetration Theory

-People in relationships often have the need to explore each other's personalities.

-Deeper relationships would go deeper into the core personality of the person.

-Depth of relationship: the more you know the person, the deeper level of the conversation and the more meaningful it becomes.

-Breadth of relationship: the more you know the person, there are more things you can talk about with the person.

5. Social Exchange Theory

-Rewards > Costs

-Individuals form relationship with one another based on whether or not it would bring benefits to them.

-Example: Improving their own network or circle of friends, increasing their chances of getting a job in the company, or simply making them more popular and well-received.

6. Equity Theory

-Rewards = Cost

-Forming professional relationships with one another. 

-Examples: Forming a working partnership with someone else, where if you put in a certain amount of money into the company, you would expect the other person to do the same. If you do more work, you will expect to get more of the profit than your partner who did less work.

THE DARK SIDE of INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

-Relationships can get complicated and can lead to ugly things in life and with one another.

-One of the most common example is jealousy due to a human nature called envy.

-Different types of jealous can occur:

1. Cognitive jealousy
• Suspicious thinking, worrying and exaggeration of things that you think would occur.
• Example: Your friends didn't call you out to hang out last week- which doesn't happen often. They said they can't contact you because they can't call you through phone, but you don't believe them.
2. Emotional jealousy
• Seeing someone you like react to something else that is out of your control to reach.
• Example: Your girlfriend responding to another person's jokes, or your boyfriend being too friendly with another girl.
3. Behavioral jealousy
• Responses or behavioral changes that takes place with the individual as a result of the envy and jealousy.
• Example: Reading your girlfriend's messages to see who she was texting with.

RELATIONSHIP VIOLENCE:

-Relationship violence would also take place as a result of a poor maintenance of interpersonal communication and relationships.

1. Physical abuse
2. Verbal and emotional abuse- especially through social media such as Facebook, Twitter
3. Sexual abuse

Chapter 6 : Non Verbal Communication

Basically, nonverbal communication means communicating through body language, emotions, eye contact and etc.

There is 6 functions of nonverbal messages: 

1. Integrating with verbal message 

2. forming and managing impression 

3. defining relationship

4. structuring conversation 

5. influencing and deceiving 

6. expressing emotion 

What are the channel's of nonverbal messages? 

1. body movement & body appearance

2.  facial communication 

3. eye contact 

4. space communication 

5. artifactual communication 

6. touch communication 

7. paralanguage

8. silence

9. time communication 

10. smell communication

Chapter 5 : Verbal Messages

           Verbal messages is a message that transfer through                  vocal communication.

1. Principle of verbal messages 

• Message Meanings Are in People - The word that different people say will bring different meanings. 
• Messages Are Denotative and Connotative 

        Denotative : Meaning direct from dictionary. 

        Connotative : Meaning based on own understanding/feeling.

• Meanings Depend on Context/Abstraction - A word/action that can bring various meaning. 

      (i) Meaning are culturally influenced:

          Principle of Cooperation with 4 maxims: the maxim of quality (be honest)

                                                                   : the maxim of relation (related with the topic)

                                                                   : the maxim of manner (be clear)

                                                                   : the maxim of quantity (be informative)

          

          Principle of Peaceful Relations: keep a peaceful relationship.

          Principle of Face-Saving: don't embarrass others in public.

          Principle of Self-Denigration: never take all credits for yourself.

      (ii) Meaning are influenced by gender:  

           Men - usually more direct.

           Women - usually more polite.

• Messages Vary in Politeness 

       (i) Politeness vs Impoliteness 

           

      (ii) Directness vs Indirectness

• Messages Vary in Assertiveness: person who speaks their mind & welcome other's doing.

• Messages Can Deceive: having an intention to give false message. 

      (i) Pro-Social Deception - to achieve something good

     (ii) Self-Enhancement Deception - to make yourself look good

    (iii) Selfish Deception - to protect yourself

    (iv) Anti-Social Deception - to harm others

   

     2. Disconfirmation & Confirmation

         Disconfirmation : You ignore someone's message.
         Confirmation : You acknowledge someone's message.

• Area affected by disconfirmation and confirmation: 

      (i)  Racism: judge people by their skin-colour.
      (ii) Sexism: judge people based on their gender.
     (iii) Hetero-sexism
     (iv) Ageism: assume that elderly people are weaker than younger people.


     3. Using Verbal Message Effectively

• Verbal messages can :

            1.Symbolize reality (partially)
2.Express both facts and inference
3.Be relatively static
4.Obscure distinctions

Chapter 4 : The SELF

The ‘self’ here means:
“… the discussion and context of the individual”

The ‘self’ can also be deemed as the way in which communication and interpretation of messages takes place within the individual.

As we expand the concept of ‘self’, the area of ‘self’ can be explored and widen into:

a. Self-concept
b. Self-awareness
c. Self-esteem
d. Self-disclosure

Self-concept:

It is how you feel and think about yourself – 

your perceptions and actions, your feelings and thoughts, your strength and weaknesses, 

your abilities and limitations your pros and conts etc.

It is the image of who you are.

The areas that affects self-concept:

a. Social Comparison

b. Other’s Images of you

c. self interpretations & evaluations

d. Cultural teaching

The areas that affects self-concept:

a. Social Comparison – we often compare and adjust our image and thinking with the way society acts and thinks.

For example – if society think it is cool to wear underwear on the head, chances are we might follow it! Fashion trends, popular culture, etc. 

The areas that affects self-concept:

b. Other’s Images of you – we often compare ourselves to those around us: friends, peers, etc.

For example – how well did you do in your exam compared to your friends?
Performing – music, art, sports = we often ask “How was it?” or “Did I do well?” to people close to us to seek a comparison.

c. self Interpretations & evaluations – your self-interpretation and self-evaluation are your standards that applies to your ethical and moral reasoning, beliefs and comprehension and conformity of things around you.

For example: Some may think lying is okay, but some may think lying is wrong. As a result, your ‘good’ and ‘bad’ list will be based on these things. 

d. Cultural Teachings – your culture instills in you a variety of      beliefs, values, and attitudes about such things as success.

Example: your ability to achieve what your culture defines as success, contributes to a positive self-concept.

Self-Awareness:

Self awareness is the ability to discover things are known about yourselves – 

a process of discovering your personal development and understanding.

This process is not only limited to the individual but also for others around you that will help

you to become self aware about your own ability. 

The Four Selfs – Johari Window:

The Four Selfs – Johari Window:

-By Joseph Luft and
Harry Ingham.

-The four different windows
explains different parts of our
selves that we know ourselves;
others know better than we do;
some remain hidden from
others and some totally
UNKNOWN to you or
anyone.

Open arena (Open self) – known to self and others: For example, you like the color red

because you wear red everyday and you tell others you like red.

Façade (Hidden self) – known to self but unknown to others: For example, you are afraid of

mice but you never show it because it makes you lose your ‘coolness’ – for guys. 

Blind Spot (Blind Self) – Unknown to you but known to others. For example – non-verbal

messages, body languages. Some may rub their nose or touch their face when they are

nervous.

Unknown (Unknown Self) – Unknown to you and others.

For example – a natural ability or aptitude that a person doesn't realize they possess.

Growing in self awareness:

1.Listen to others

2.Increase your open self

3.Seek information about yourself

4.Dialogue with yourself

Self-Esteem:

Self-Esteem means confidence or the level of trust or assurance to yourself. 

A big part of our ‘self’ depends on how much we are confident with our beliefs, our image, our

portrayal in public and with peers, etc. 

It is always good to have high self-esteem, but don’t have overly high self-esteem that it

becomes self-destructive beliefs, for example: having the confidence to get A+ in Human

Communication is good, but having a target to get A+ for ALL subjects is a bit too harsh and

might be bad for you. 

How to increase your self esteem?

1.Attack self-destructive belief

2.Seek out Nourishing people

3.Work on project that will result in success

4.Remind yourself of your success

5.Secure affirmation

Self-Disclosure:

Self-Disclosure is an act of telling others about things that they wouldn't know about you – telling

your hidden self. 

Self-Disclosure forms an important part of being true to our ‘self’ and making sure we are

happy with our lives. 

Factors influencing self disclosure

1.who you are

2.Your culture

3.Your gender

4.Your listeners – small groups or large groups

5.Your topic and channel.

Self-Disclosure:

Self-Disclosure’s advantages:

a. Gain confidence

b. Be more truthful about yourself

c. Make or strengthen friendships and relationships

Self-Disclosure’s disadvantages:

a. Lost of friends and trust

b. Additional pressure and burden

c. Living with regret