Chapter 3 : Listening

Listening

Listening is a specialized process, a type of perception, by which you receive auditory signals.

• the process of receiving, constructing meaning from and responding to spoken and/or non-verbal messages
• Helps you to play, help, relate, influence and to learn.

*Hearing is a basic step of receiving sound and is not the same as listening.

There are 5 stages of Listening:

1.Receiving:

Verbally and non-verbally.
Hearing Auditory Stimuli. Example:

- Focus attention on the speaker
- Avoid distractions in the environment
- Refrain from thinking about how you will respond
- Maintain your role of listener by not interrupting

2. Understanding: 

Decode the speaker’s messages. Example: 

- Relate the speaker’s information to what you already know

- See the speaker’s messages from the speaker’s point of view

- Ask questions for clarification                     
- Rephrase (paraphrase) speaker’s ideas to facilitate mutual understanding

3. Remembering:

Retaining messages received and understood for at least some period of time. Example:

- Identify speaker’s main ideas and supporting evidence

- Summarize messages in ways that are easy for you to retain

- Repeat names and key concepts to yourself (or aloud, if appropriate)

4. Evaluating: 

Judging messages you hear. Example: 

- Resist evaluation until you fully understand the speaker’s points
- Assume the speaker is a person of goodwill (ask for clarification)
- Distinguish facts from inferences and opinions 
- Identify any biases, self-interest, or prejudices that may influence the speaker’s messages

5. Responding: 

Responding occurs in two phases:

• Responses while the speaker is talking (back-channeling cues to let the speaker know you are paying attention, . Example: (“uh-huh,” “I see”)
• Responses after the speaker has stopped/while conversing. 

Example of Responding: 

- Express support for the speaker by using varied back-channeling cues.

- Express support for the speaker in your final responses.

- Take ownership of responses by using “I” messages

Listening & culture

Why Listening is Difficult?

- Different culture and experience between the speaker and the listener may lead to misunderstood. 

Diversity of Listening & Culture.

1. Language & speech

• Every speaker has their unique of language. 
• Speakers and listeners who have different native languages & who may have learned English as a second language have differences in meaning.

2. Non-Verbal Behavioral Differences

• Speaker from different cultures have different display rules. (non-verbal appropriate or inappropriate in public setting)
• Listen = verbal + nonverbal
• If verbal and nonverbal contradict with what you expect, it will become noise or interference.

3. Direct and indirect styles

• Direct style: “say what you mean and mean what you say.”
• indirect style : “they emphasize politeness and maintaining a positive public image rather than absolute truth”

4. Balance of Story versus Evidence

• In some cultures (e.g. United states) most people want evidence before making decisions rather than critical thinking.
• But for some other cultures, they may be more influenced by the word of high credibility source.

5. Credibility

• What make a speaker credible or believable will vary from one culture to another.
• Competence teacher is the most important factor for parents to send their children in preschool.
• For some other culture, morality and or goodness is most important factors.

6. Feedback

• Members of some cultures give very direct and very honest feedback
• But for some others cultures “it’s more important to be positive than to be truthful and so they may respond with positive feedback even thought they don’t feel it”

Listening effectively

1. Participatory & Passive listening

- Participation is the key of effective listening. 

- Participate can be mentally or physically.

- Passive listening is not without merit

- Listening without talking and without directing, the speaker in any non-verbal way is a powerful means for

communicating acceptance.

2. Emphatic & objective listening

- Emphatic listening is a means for both increasing understanding and for enhancing relationships.

- There are times when you need to measure the meanings and feelings against some objective reality.

- Listen more objectively.

3.Non-Judgmental and Critical Listening.

- Effective listening includes both nonjudgmental and critical responses.
- Open your mind and understanding the message and then evaluate or judge the message.

4. Surface & Depth Listening

- Distinguish the surface(literal) and depth meaning of the communication,

Example:  Do you like my new haircut ?

- This question or meaning seems direct and clear,

- But, There is another level of meaning,
 Etc: Maybe someone ask you about his/her appearance.